There are 4 main food groups in the Fair Food Pyramid: Foot long, Chocolate covered, Fried, and on a stick. Tonight, I did everything in my utmost power to achieve this food pyramid and have accomplished my goal. We had corndogs, foot-long of course, followed quickly by Saratoga chips. We took a short break from our feeding smorgasbord and perused the dairy cows.
We sat and watched in awe as the cows were hooked up to the, I guess what will be called here: the utter machine. The milk just poured out, like magic. As Stephen and I gawked at the poor cow on display, we had to wonder: where is the milk stored. Giant mammary glands perhaps; like one giant boob with four utters. Ah, the mysteries of life. By this time we are ready for dinner, part two, which for me is a smoked turkey leg and for Stephen a hamburger. He wanted a spongiform burger, like the ones that you got in the school cafeteria, so we stopped at a place that looked like they had what we needed. Once the said burger was received, Stephen applied what he believed to be ketchup, but was in fact hot sauce. Which was met by a moderate amount of laughter from me.
From there we went to the Horticulture building and tried to decipher how one picks a particular leaf over another leaf that looks exactly the same. We drown these ponders in a gigantic ear of roasted corn. On to the Creative Arts Building where our faith and trust in the judges of this particular competition is tested. I just have to say that the judges must be getting something on the side, because these were definitely not judged on merit.
We then took the most dreaded march through the fairway games amid hollering carnies. We kept our heads down and ignored the cat calls. That is until we reached the game where you win a goldfish. You know, the one where you throw ping-pong balls into jar and if you get one in you win a fish. Three dollars later and probably seven minutes later, we walked away with two fish; who are now affectionately called "Corn Dog" and "Lucky." We then top the night off the night with a cinnamon funnel cake, all while holding the goldfish in their tiny cellophane bag. From there we head to Wal-Mart because now the fish need a place to sleep. After having a great debate on whether to leave the fish in the car or not (we decided it would be okay because it was a cool night and a fish can't suffocate) we head off to the pet aisle where I then purchase a $40 dollar start up fish tank kit, for my $.30 fish. Nice. It will be worth it, I hope they are alive in the morning, but I guess I can't expect much from a fish won at the fair. At least I didn't buy $2,000 worth of pot and pans (thats a whole 'nother story)
1 comment:
My younger sister won a fish at a fair several years ago. My parents let her keep it, knowing it would be dead in 2 weeks. That darn fish lived like 4 years...through being hit by the cat, losing part of his tail, and falling down the food disposal. We shoulda named him Lucky.
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